DISCLAIMER: All charactors and events should be assumed to be ficticious. No claims of any such similarity to real persons will be taken seriously by the author. Asante.
So what really transpired? These three guys on a civil servant's salary could not come to terms with the fact that despite them having grade twelve certificates they were still the subordinates to some dinosaurs that had less than a basic education.
That VX Land Cruiser was a far off dream for one Negro Phiri (Easterner - real name). He was just one of the victims of the cruel lie that says education is the key to success. As desperation would have it there had to be some way to get that money. Enter Shonongo - a very popular soothsayer and sorcerer. Some crook from the way who found it profitable to masquerade as a witch doctor. Negro was his best bet to hit it big!!! His bate came to him on a silver platter. Here goes.
Negro had had it! Toiled all his life, saw four different government regimes promised diamonds for peanuts take office and still at the age of 33 could not show any significance for his own life. This is what happens when someone is too consumed by the things one cannot change. Having completed high school in the 2003 after really struggling to pay his own fees. Having lived a life in the streets and never knowing the comforts of a home - he wasn't going to allow anything impeding him anymore.
You see the corrupt system of his employer, the government, made it very
clear that those who have no connections will remain clerics. They cannot pay their way through higher education because the system would not allow that type of "give away" to protect their own less capable people. What's ironic is that the head of the ministry was not even bred in the system. He was just some lucky guy with an ambition who woke up one day, said a few things eloquently in a bar and suddenly had a following. This following took Gerry B. Mwaba to the upper echelons of society. Yes fellas, this miracle of a man was now a minister with a multi million dollar fortune he acquired, not by being educated but by being cunning and frankly a real force in the money making business. HE WAS NOW A GOVERNMENT MINISTER. Like he needed the job...
This fortune did not not sit very well with Negro. His boss who was only a few months on the job could not even claim a basic education. Despite that, rumours of how Mwaba sacrificed family members to accumulate this wealth made Negro despise him even more. NEGRO was DONE! This was not going to fly anymore. HE was going to get that money. He was going to get his own Land Cruiser. If it meant giving up his Biblical beliefs to live on paradise on earth. After all, paradise wasn't guaranteed even to the most faithful after death. So something had to give to attain this paradise.
Meet Shonongo
As he sat in his mud thatched hut on the fringes of Kalingalinga Compound, Shonongo (Christian Mapulanga was his real name but no one knew that) coughed as the "essence" a (concoction of herbs that included some psychotropic substances) clogged his chest. High as a kite. The smoke was kept at a balance with venilation that was naturally regulated - but sometimes when the wind was still and did not move the air through the rugged structure it sat inside and accumulated making it hard to breathe.
Shonongo needed a big score. There was not much joy in getting the tit bits from the lower classes who's desperation for stupid small things was really starting to annoy him. Maybe it was time to quit this sharrade. Maybe it's time I got out of this trash hole and did the "unthinkable". But he needed a allibi. A pawn, a scape goat to do his bidding. Someone more desperate than he was. Someone dumb enough to push the envolope to achieve a certain level of greatness! This was doable. The research was solid and the contacts were not very hard to find. Shonongo had a plan alright. He just never had the gut to get there. But inhaling toxic smoke all day can only go on for so long. Five years of consitent smoking and moving around in public with a disguise really tolls on a man. Shonongo was very near rock bottom. Very near the probably there already.
Shonongo was a master a of deception but many a fool believed he had true divine power. The smoke was his best seller. Once inside the unsuspecting patient (sic. Client) would inhale a substantial amount of marijuana smoke laced with powdered hard drugs supplied from an orderly at Chinama mental hospital, Darius. The feeling of light headedness gave the patients the reassurance that they had just met an extraordinary man. The mixture of dry roses and other pleasant flavours masked the true identity of the drugs. There was no way they were going to catch him!
As Negro approached the hut, he could catch the faint smell of the "essence". Inscribed on the wooden door of the red soil hut were the words, "GUARDIAN SHONONGO: Success in marriage potions, power of man, labial potion, potion for water('what the hell i that?', thought Negro.) Business Success, Lost lover ETC...) A shiver ran down his spine. But this had to be done if he was not going to die a virgin. 33 and counting... Every instinct that told him this was a bad idea was not going to stop him. This was HIS destiny and no small voices had any say over his tormented soul. I mean prayers didn't help. This guy was about to meet the one thing that could and will change his life forever.
Below the welcome notice in bright yellow were instructions of how to enter the hut. One had to shout a greeting and wait a response, "Mipashi twamilumba!"(Spirits we hail you) and it was followed by a faint cough and an even fainter, "Enter my son." With this, Negro took off his shoes (as per instruction) and entered the stuffy little enclosure.
The essence hit the back of his nasal cavity like dry ice. He felt a sudden head rush and instantly felt he was in the right place! the walls were black and the only visible things were a shallow wooden stool at which he assumed was his rightful resting place so he sat. No reaction from the host....
"What brings you amidst the spirits of the ancients my son?" asked Shonongo. His face out of site by the black hood he wore as he took a deep breath of the essence that burnt between his skinny legs.
"I am here for the sole purpose of accumulating wealth. Wealth beyond measure. Wealth that will stop traffic for me. Wealth that will bring me good health and..."
"Speak no more. Such dreams require a heavy sacrifice. Are you
willing to forgo your current life and begin afresh as a new human being?"
chanted Shonongo. His voice shaky and rasp.
"Yes Guardian. My mind is not going to be changed." Affirmed Negro.
With that Shonongo steadily stood to his feet and revealed his face. It was leathery. Probably smoked from over exposure to the essence. HE was of very small build, very dark skinned and just under five feet tall. He wore a black silky robe and from the look of things was no more than 40 years old. His eyes were brown on the whites and completely black in the centre. This guy would pass for the real deal any day. He turned around and bent over giving Negro an outline view of his skinny back side through his rode. Clearly no underwear there, though Negro... Then stood abruptly, swang around quite elegantly and presented Negro with two root like herbs (they were really just two stems of ginger that had been soaked in vinegar and dry cured - distorting the flavor altogether) and said, "Soak this in your bath water and wash with it for two weeks. Do not drain, do not use soap. Pour it on this same day two weeks from now. Come back to me then with K500 to proceed with the next step to build your empire."
An empire hey? That never crossed his mind before. Negro could not contain his excitement as he exited the little hut and headed home, somewhere in Garden compound. Coupled with the high of a drug he swore never to smoke because he was such a good person. Well he just got his first taste of why Rastafarians always seem so happy. His troubles seems as trivial as... well... ice-cream.
Little did he know he had just signed his life away. HE would soon be
sucked into a labyrinth of confusion that will change his life forever...
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interesting waiting for part two.
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